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Pampered to Death

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
When freelance writer Jaine Austen is surprised with an über-luxe spa getaway, she and her feline pal Prozac are eager to hit the road and bask in a week of pampering and pedicures. But what she gets is a California fat farm in disguise, complete with celery-juice cocktails, humiliating weigh-ins, and a zero-tolerance position on carbs.
Among her bulge-battling companions is Mallory Francis, a B-list movie star with a knack for making frenemies. When she's found strangled during a seaweed wrap gone awry, Jaine is hard-pressed to think of anyone who couldn't have done it. While the suspects mount faster than her hunger pangs, Jaine's search for truth, justice and contraband calories leads her straight to a cold-blooded killer—where murder may be on the menu once again. . .
"Her books are so outrageously funny, they always make me laugh out loud."—Joanne Fluke
Praise for Laura Levine's Jaine Austen series
"Delightful. . .Jaine's wit shines throughout." —Publishers Weekly on Pampered to Death
"If you love a good mystery, this book is for you." —New York Journal of Books on Death of a Trophy Wife
"This will turn out to be a long series. . .likely to be compared to Janet Evanovich for its humor." —I Love a Mystery on This Pen for Hire
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      June 6, 2011
      Levine's delightful 10th Jaine Austen mystery (after 2010's Death of a Trophy Wife) takes the freelance copywriter and her petulant cat, Prozac, to the Haven, "a swellegant spa for the rich and pampered" up the coast from L.A., which turns out to offer a strict 900 calories a day diet. Things don't get any brighter on the arrival of B-movie actress Mallory Francis and her catty entourage, who make life difficult for the spa owner, an old friend of Mallory's. The actress constantly lashes out at her assistant/sister, Kendra, and flirts shamelessly with married staff members. No one is sorry when Mallory is strangled with a piece of kelp. Jaine, the unabashed author of You and Your Septic Tank, jumps at the chance to tap into her amateur PI skills, but asking too many questions puts her life in jeopardy. Chapters of e-mail correspondence add little, but Jaine's wit shines throughout.

    • Library Journal

      July 1, 2011

      Jaine and her cat Prozac (Death of a Trophy Wife) plan to enjoy a relaxing spa weekend in Santa Barbara, but a murdered guest means work for Jaine instead.

      Copyright 2011 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Kirkus

      June 15, 2011

      Dieting can be murder, as a freelance writer finds out at the health resort from hell.

      Her neighbor Lance, who owes Jaine Austen (Killing Bridezilla, 2008, etc.) big time, springs for a stay for both the ad copywriter and her cat Prozac at The Haven, a fancy-schmancy spa up the Central Coast from their L.A. home. Slightly less fancy and definitely less schmancy than advertised, The Haven offers threadbare towels and even sparser provisions. Nine hundred calories a day leave the inner woman screaming for sustenance, and spa owner and diet Nazi Olga, who knows all the tricks, confiscates Jaine's stash of turkey-on-rye at the door. But worse than the cuisine is the company, from nonstop talker Cathy Kane, who saved up for years to afford this week of torture, to spoiled star Mallory Francis, who specializes in pushing Olga's buttons. Even Mallory's unhappy entourage—her sister Kendra, hairstylist Harvy [sic], former costar Clint Masters and ill-tempered Pekingese Armani—give Jaine the willies. Fortunately, someone puts a stop to Mallory's endless requests for really fresh mangoes with a lethal seaweed wrap. Unfortunately, Mallory's murder means that everyone has to stay put until the police solve the case. Not wanting to live on celery fizz or keep paying shifty chambermaid Delphine 30 bucks a pop for pastrami sandwiches forever, Jaine puts her sleuthing skills to work to find a killer before her appetite kills her.

      Levine offers a full menu of clues for the detection-starved reader. But couldn't wordsmith Jaine find some slicker means of interrogation than confronting her suspects with reasons for thinking they done it?

      (COPYRIGHT (2011) KIRKUS REVIEWS/NIELSEN BUSINESS MEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.)

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